STATUS QUO

Thanks to my girl "Something Special" over at Speak Responsibly, reading her most recent post "Know the Speed Limit" gave me some ideas to write this article.

STATUS QUO by definition means: The existing condition or state of affairs.

My question to you is do you live your life "status quo"? What is your life a representation of? Does it represent the world in which we live in today? Or do you live your life according to the standard that is set by God? After reading an article over at Speak Responsibly I realized that a lot of people are living their lives according to the "norm". People nowadays just go with the flow. Whatever has become normal the people of today's society are OK with it. Remember when back in the day TV shows didn't even show married couples sleeping in the same bed? Now not only do you see them sleeping in the same bed, but you see them acting out sex in what they call a PG-13 film, which is supposed to be appropriate for children! Is that the norm that you live your life by? Who's standard do you measure yourself against? Is it the world's or is it God's?

You know it's funny how as society becomes relaxed and comfortable with the direction that we're moving in, those that happen to hold on the values and morals that were instilled in us in the past are considered to be out of touch. It's one thing to be out of touch with reality or being naive and a completely different thing to just choose not to live according to other people standards. We weren't put here in order to be people pleasers and tickle someone else's fancy. We were put here to serve God and be an example for those that do not know Him. We as Christians, have to set the standard, we have to live differently in order to set ourselves apart the way that God already has, otherwise how can one tell the difference between us and someone who isn't saved?

A lot of people out there who don't go to church, say they don't go because the church is filled with a bunch of hypocrites. They do what they want from Monday through Saturday but come Sunday morning they are tongue talking, bible quoting, "holy rollers" for the Lord! We have got to stop! How can we expect people to want to follow God and do what His will commands for us to do, if we as His people are setting a poor example? None of us are perfect, and I know that better than anybody. There are times where I look at myself and say why am I doing this, I know better?! There are also times where I see where I was and where I am and realize how easy it is to fall back into the ways of the world. See salvation is a process that is on going. We as born again believers may not change "outwardly" over night. Our souls are instantly changed, but it takes our flesh more time to catch up. The great thing about the God we serve is He is a loving God, He is compassionate and He is patient. Though through our walk we may at times go stray, we can never go too far off course before He calls us to come back home. I can remember times in my life, where I was so far from His will that I couldn't hear His voice speak to my spirit anymore, but just when I got to my lowest point, I heard Him call out for me.

So even when we get sucked back in to the world, He always knows when to reel us back in. There is never a reason that it is OK to just live your life according to the norm or "status quo". We have a standard, God's standard, that we are called to live. So I challenge you all to look at your life and measure yourself to determine who's standards are you living according to.... the world's or God's?

Thank you for joining me at The "J" Spot.

Daddy's Girl aka MzCeo

THUG PASSION

Why has there always been an attraction between a good girl and a bad boy? What is it in a woman that draws her to him? Some think that it may just be the all too simple tale that opposites attract, which I think has some truth to it. Some also think that it's a fetish, it gives the good girl the opportunity to experience life on the "wild side" like she never would have known otherwise, I think that may also have some truth to it. One of my personal favorite theories are that woman are born with an innate maternal/ nurturing instinct. We always want to fix something or someone, this is the position that I really tend to side with. So what's the correct answer here? I say a strong case of ALL OF THE ABOVE!

Personally I think there are tons of reasons why some woman are attracted to the "bad boy" or the "thug life." The whole bad boy imagery is all over the television, especially in music videos. That lifestyle is portrayed as "the life" that everyone should want to live. To some women who have a normal, (what they would consider) boring, everyday life this may be attractive. It gives them the opportunity to live vicariously through someone else or it gives them that status of being "so and so's girl." Every girl who's dated a bad boy was "so and so's" girl for a time and everyone around the way knew that you were hands off. That faux feeling of status that you get from being some dude's girl that is high up on the food chain can feel empowering.



I think we have a tendency to see more good in a person than they are able to see in themselves. We see and fall for the "possibilities" while ignoring the "realities!!" We say to ourselves, "if I could just get him to stop doing this he would be the perfect guy" or "if he would stop hanging with this group of friends he'd stop getting in trouble and then he'd be the perfect guy." I'm not hating on any women out there who prefer the bad boy, for me it was a phase that I had gone through, and I think that's the case for a lot of women.



As for this goodie two shoes, I am not attracted to the streetlife or whatever glory it may bring. The tough guy persona is not what I am attracted to. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a pushover, I don't think any girl really wants that. I am attracted to testosterone and I would prefer my man to have a say so and have the ability to tell me "no" from time to time, but not too often! I don't want for him to be a punk and not able to stand up for himself or for me for that matter. However, what I am attracted to instead of the roughneck, tough guy is a strong sense of self confidence and not arrogance. He definitely has to be on the same page spiritually with me, he has to be intelligent and articulate. I am attracted to the kind of man that feels comfortable in a room full of stiff suits or on the street in from of a corner store. I am attracted to a sense of humor and a great personality.

So I have passed this cup of Thug Passion on to the next chick that craves a little adventure in her life and I am perfectly happy and satisfied with my God Fearing, respectable, educated, confident, articulate, loving and caring man! I sometimes look back in retrospect and wonder.... what was I thinking????

REFLECTIONS

The last five days have gone by so fast it's hard to comprehend that it's just about time to get back to reality, which for me means getting back to waking up early, getting my son off to school and me getting ready for work trying to negotiate some deals and make some things happen for myself. Why do vacations go by so fast? I don't know if I'd consider my time off a vacation, being that I didn't go anywhere, but I got a chance to relax and just spend time with my family. Waking up late was good enough for me to be honest, but now that it's Sunday, I could use another 5 days before going back to my life.

Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. I spent time with my immediate family we did our usual, my dad cooked the turkey, mac and cheese and the collard greens, while my mom and I prepared the sides, the stuffing, potato salad, candied yams, pies and I personally did a fabulous lasagna. Dinner was excellent everything came out tasting just right for the occasion. After dinner it was our usual louging around the house. A friend stopped by and we all hung out then later on that night my son and I went to the movies to see Twilight, which turned out to be a good movie, a nice love story on a PG-13 level.

Black Friday, I did not wake up to take part in the mayhem that occurs at obscene hours in the day. I couldn't see myself doing it, up at 3-4am to stand in a long line in the cold to bust through the doors of some super savers club. I woke up late and hit the mall for something nice, not for Christmas shopping but to find a gift for myself as my birthday was the next day. I got myself a few great gifts, and then went back home for some Thanksgiving leftovers.

Saturday I woke up to a wonderful surprise of birthday calls and gifts. I got a beautiful new bag, watch and ring from my parents and my son bought me a necklace. I also bought myself a watch and some other jewelry to celebrate my birthday. I didn't go out on my birthday, but I didn't feel too bad about it. There were plans but they fell through.

Now it's Sunday and tomorrow is obviously Monday, back to work back to the grind. Tonight I am celebrating my birthday out doing something that I like to do which is dinner in a great restaurant and great ambiance. So it's about time to get dressed so I can head out.

But before I go I figured I mention what I'm grateful for. This Thanksgiving holiday, I am thankful for my family and friends and all of my loved ones. I am thankful the house that I live in and the clothes on my back and the fact that I can still sustain a designer wardrobe (sorry it is) I am thankful that in this market I am still working as an active real estate agent bringing in the money to pay my bills, sales aren't what they were a year ago but people are still buying (at least from me) :-). I am thankful for a black president and I am thankful for love and life. I am thankful for a new day.

Peace and blessings,

Daddy's Girl

CAN WE SET THE STANDARD AND MAKE A CHANGE?

So today I woke up extra excited that I actually got one wheel in my huge master plan turning! This blog is actually a part of a big plan and so I've been thinking all day, what am I going to write about? What do I have to say? Is it profound? Does it have to be profound? No... it doesn't lol. All it has to do is make sense and make a point, right? What I want to talk about today is the importance of not losing sight of your dreams. This is very dear to my heart because I have always been a person who has had big dreams, dreams so big that I'm sure behind my back people thought that I was crazy and probably still do! The point is to never be concerned by what someone else thinks about you. How someone else feels about me does NOT define who I am. What defines me is how God sees me and how I need to learn how to see myself! If you're given these ideas, maybe it's because we're supposed to do something with them! I believe that we weren't put here to just work for someone else all of our lives. The Bible says that we are to be the head and not the tail, and that we are to be lenders and not borrowers. How can we do that if we're caught up in the everyday rat race barely making ends meet? I think in this day and age it is the time for us to set ourselves apart, let's stop letting the stock market determine who will have jobs or not have jobs today or tomorrow! We have to stir up that entrepreneurial spirit that is on the inside of all of us and start coming up with some God inspired ideas that will not only put us in a position of power, but because it was an idea given to us by God it is blessed and therefore will be prosperous!

I believe that now is the time for us to set ourselves up for owning our own businesses so that we can help other people in need, by providing jobs in the community, having the cash flow to be able to bless a person without hurting afterwards. We have to think BIG! Remember when you were a kid, how easy it was to think that you could be the president of the United States? Remember when it was OK to say I'm going to be a rocket scientist and believe it without batting an eye? We have to get back to that kid kind of faith that allows us to believe that we can. Somehow, in our transition from childhood to adulthood we lose sight of that kind of faith, we also start to think that it's not possible to become all those things that we thought we could do as children. However, NOTHING is impossible with God. If you trust Him, you can do all things... We can't be selfish or stingy with our gifts and talents, because remember God uses people to bless people, not using your gifts and talents or even doubting that you are capable is calling God a liar and our Father is not a man that He shall lie, we need to see ourselves how He sees us. We need to love ourselves like He loves us. If we could all just get a revelation of how He loves us and how He sees us then maybe we could all start to believe it and live up to that standard that He has called us to live! There are only people that you can touch, there are only people that will be able to receive from you, not using the resources that God has given you could cost you that person's soul. We are here not to just get blessed and keep it to ourselves but we are here to bless others. Let's face it, we live in a material world. The better you dress the better you are perceived, the more expensive car you drive the more successful you are assumed to be, if we live in a society that requires you to look and act and dress a certain way just to say that you are successful then, we have to start putting ourselves in the position to be able to play the part. How are you going to tell the young aspiring drug dealer to get off the corner, when he's just trying to hustle up some money for an official pair of True Religion $200 jeans when you're wearing Wrangler. Sad but true, that he would be able to tell the difference. How are you going to impress him, this young kid on the corner when you are rolling up in a put- put with an $80. bible. That won't impress today's generation. We have to look the part and we were called to be blessed and prosperous. Let's live up to our potential. Don't let your mind get in the way of your dreams. If you have dreams, write them down, post them on your walls so that you are reminded of them everyday and make a plan to make it happen! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. You are the head and not the tail. Don't sell yourself short.