SANTA, JUST PUT A MAN UNDER MY TREE!!

This one is for all of my singles out there. What do you want for Christmas? That's the question a lot of people are being asked at this time of year and most responses are generic in that they are almost all the same, with requests of the cutest outfit or the hottest accessory of the season or maybe even a bottle of your favorite perfume. But when you go home at night all you'd really like to ask for is a beautiful man to slide up under your tree!

What is it about this time of year that has the lonely missing what they don't have? What is it about the holiday season that has you craving that significant other that you thought you were fine without? Could it be that as the years go by you are one of the only one's left at the dinner table without a date? Or is the latest news of your younger cousin who just got engaged to what seems like the perfect guy that you have yet to find? Or maybe it's the news that you're going to be a new auntie or a god mommy within the next year? Sometimes around the holidays you look around and you see where everyone else is in their lives and you notice more than ever where you are in yours.

Instead of it being a happy time of year, you find yourself cuddling your pillow tighter hoping that if you squeeze it hard enough it'll turn into a man. Unfortunately every morning you wake, it's still a pillow and it'll always be. Sometimes, you find yourself at home reminiscing on past relationships, that may not have been all of that, but in your lonely state you start to say 'well they weren't that bad' and even decide to call and allow them to pay you a visit or two. After those episodes of delirium you feel even worse than you had before you called and remember quite vividly why things didn't work out in the first place! Those acts of desperation are the last things that we want to do.

I don't know why we get so hard on ourselves around this time of year, that we want for what we don't have. I think the true meaning of the holidays are to be focused on our haves instead of our havenots. So though you may desire that perfect man that you can call all your own, and that beautiful diamond ring to show off or maybe even to share that you are about to take on one of life's most blessed events ever, focus on the things that you do have like great friends, a loving family and a whole lot to offer that special one when he finally does find you.

So this year, I challenge you that as you gather around the dinner table with your family and friends to have Christmas dinner to instead of looking around at your kin and noticing what they have that you don't, be thankful for all that you do have. Be thankful that you are alive and have your health, be thankful for your family and your friends and as you continue to be true to yourself, you never know who they may have invited to stop by for dinner!

Lighten up, tis' the season!

SINGLE, SAVED AND SEX

I thought a lot today about what I wanted to talk about and the topic that kept jumping out at me was Single, Saved and Sex. I think this topic kept popping into my head because this is one that is dear to my heart. There are a lot of young saved, single men and women out there that continue to battle with the struggle of having premarital sex. Some of them truly don't know that they are wrong to have sex outside of marriage and the ones who may have had abstinence taught to them didn't understand why they were being told to wait and thought that it was simply another thing that our parents didn't want us to do!

As a parent it's also quite discouraging to tell a child to wait on having sex when it's all around them. Today's society is choc' full o' sex!!! As they say "sex sells" and because of this, nearly everything thing sold on the market place has some kind of sexual overtone or undertone. When it's being marketed to women it's a softer sex, more romantic and sensual and when being marketed to a man, it's more overt and blatant. Either way we're being sold sex in a bottle in some way shape or form. Sex is in every genre of entertainment i. e. music, movie, etc. How do we not have sex when it seems like everyone around you is doing it? It seems so enjoyable so why not? I guess a question I could ask, is it possible to be single, saved and not have sex until marriage?

The answer is yes indeed!

I personally had an issue with being saved, a single woman and sex. I was raised to not have sex until marriage but I don't recall ever really being explained why not except for "because I said so!" or "you just don't!" As a young adult it left me curious as to why is something that is obviously natural not ok for me to do? I kind of thought that I was being left out of the loop, like it was one huge conspiracy plan against me! I think that we need to not be so inhibited with our children to not give them further explanation of why we say not to do something. I think children are pretty reasonable and if they have a question about why they shouldn't do something, they are just trying to rationalize and they want to make an informed decision and we shouldn't avoid talking to them because we are embarrassed by the topic. We need to not be afraid to speak of the true meaning and purpose for sex and why it was created for a husband and a wife to share not just to be done casually as sex has now become.

Women this is for you: To have intercourse with someone it's an exchange of emotion, fluids and "spiritual essence." I say this because if we look at the very act of sex, men have an external organ and women an internal organ. The man is the giver while the woman receives the man into her body. When a man and woman have sex there is an exchange and he leaves a bit of himself with her. Also, being that the act of sex was reserved only for husband and wife, when you have sex, legally married or not, God sees you as married! To casually have sex with multiple partners is now adultery. Not only is there the adultery that you have to contend with but it's the multiple partners that are left deposited in to your spirit that you have to deal with. Women, you pray for the right man, you pray and ask God to send you your husband, but how can he when you have no room left in your spirit to receive him? You've given yourself casually to men and committed yourself to them by engaging in an act that was sanctified only for marriage, you have tied God's hands. You have to purge yourself of the relations that you've had with men, clean yourself out and cling back to your one true love so that He can prepare you and make room for your husband.

When I asked myself now that I'm saved and I'm still single how am I going to find my husband and not have sex? God led me to read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. What that passage talks about is what I just got finished explaining. The act of sex unites a man and woman making them "one flesh" to indulge in sexual immorality is committing sin against your own body. Your body wasn't made for your own indulgence your body was made for Him. Your body is the temple of God. You were bought at a high price, your body isn't your own. Therefore honor God with your body. When I dissect this and meditate on it even further, when you think about it, we were purchased by the blood of Jesus. It cost Him his life and it was the spilling of His blood that has covered me and allowed me to be set free from bondage. He's now with me always, living on the inside of me. How can I dishonor him? How can I pollute His dwellings after He laid His life down for me? If all I have to do is keep my temple pure to please Him then that's what I'll do. Just the insight and the understanding of why I shouldn't have sex until marriage was enough for me to say ok, I will not continue to give myself up freely to someone undeserving. I will purge myself and make room for my husband and give myself only to him.

So ladies, before you allow yourselves to lay down with another man, first think to yourself if you can see yourself being married to him, because you will be. Also, let the thought of if you like everything about him because as we found out, during the act of sex a man deposits his essence in the woman's body leaving himself behind. If you only like what he looks like and he has nothing of substance on the inside then think again because you will be carrying him around with you whether you like it or not! What is most important, is realize who lives on the inside of you. Acknowledge Him in all your ways. Acknowledge His presence and respect that He is there and that you are to honor your body and keep His temple Holy.

How to date and remain abstinent?
Date someone who shares the same beliefs as you do.
Talk about it and set boundaries early on in the relationship.
Date in groups.
Pray
Study the Word
Don't put yourself in an uncompromising situation.

Remember, with every temptation the Lord will make a way of escape.

I hope that you have enjoyed another episode of The "J" Spot with yours truly- Daddy's Girl

Peace & Blessings