STATUS QUO

Thanks to my girl "Something Special" over at Speak Responsibly, reading her most recent post "Know the Speed Limit" gave me some ideas to write this article.

STATUS QUO by definition means: The existing condition or state of affairs.

My question to you is do you live your life "status quo"? What is your life a representation of? Does it represent the world in which we live in today? Or do you live your life according to the standard that is set by God? After reading an article over at Speak Responsibly I realized that a lot of people are living their lives according to the "norm". People nowadays just go with the flow. Whatever has become normal the people of today's society are OK with it. Remember when back in the day TV shows didn't even show married couples sleeping in the same bed? Now not only do you see them sleeping in the same bed, but you see them acting out sex in what they call a PG-13 film, which is supposed to be appropriate for children! Is that the norm that you live your life by? Who's standard do you measure yourself against? Is it the world's or is it God's?

You know it's funny how as society becomes relaxed and comfortable with the direction that we're moving in, those that happen to hold on the values and morals that were instilled in us in the past are considered to be out of touch. It's one thing to be out of touch with reality or being naive and a completely different thing to just choose not to live according to other people standards. We weren't put here in order to be people pleasers and tickle someone else's fancy. We were put here to serve God and be an example for those that do not know Him. We as Christians, have to set the standard, we have to live differently in order to set ourselves apart the way that God already has, otherwise how can one tell the difference between us and someone who isn't saved?

A lot of people out there who don't go to church, say they don't go because the church is filled with a bunch of hypocrites. They do what they want from Monday through Saturday but come Sunday morning they are tongue talking, bible quoting, "holy rollers" for the Lord! We have got to stop! How can we expect people to want to follow God and do what His will commands for us to do, if we as His people are setting a poor example? None of us are perfect, and I know that better than anybody. There are times where I look at myself and say why am I doing this, I know better?! There are also times where I see where I was and where I am and realize how easy it is to fall back into the ways of the world. See salvation is a process that is on going. We as born again believers may not change "outwardly" over night. Our souls are instantly changed, but it takes our flesh more time to catch up. The great thing about the God we serve is He is a loving God, He is compassionate and He is patient. Though through our walk we may at times go stray, we can never go too far off course before He calls us to come back home. I can remember times in my life, where I was so far from His will that I couldn't hear His voice speak to my spirit anymore, but just when I got to my lowest point, I heard Him call out for me.

So even when we get sucked back in to the world, He always knows when to reel us back in. There is never a reason that it is OK to just live your life according to the norm or "status quo". We have a standard, God's standard, that we are called to live. So I challenge you all to look at your life and measure yourself to determine who's standards are you living according to.... the world's or God's?

Thank you for joining me at The "J" Spot.

Daddy's Girl aka MzCeo

DOES A MARRIAGE MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE???

Today what I wanted to talk about was marriage. The reason I've decided on this topic is because after being in a serious relationship your mind starts to look to the future. However, what really made me want to write about this topic was the different people that I was encountering and the different things I was hearing being said. To say the least, "MARRIAGE" gets mixed reviews.

I am a realtor and as you can imagine I come across a lot of different people of whom come from all different walks of life. I encounter doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, professionals, musicians, artists, comedians and etc. An important part of my job is building a relationship as I work with them to find a home that is best suited for their needs. As we work together, I'm sure you can imagine that our conversations aren't all about business. In the community that I'm currently selling, it seems to be a safe haven for the divorced! They just seem to flock to my neighborhood and when I ask, "So, what's prompting you to think about moving?" or another one of my famous questions is "What's going on in your life to make you think about making a move?" The answer that I often get is... "Well, I'm in the middle of a divorce and so I need to find a new home." A lot of times, I find myself in an awkward position because I don't know if it was a welcomed divorce or one that they didn't want to happen but allowed to happen.

My question is does marriage mean anything anymore? Why are 50% of marriages doomed by divorce?

It's funny, I was talking to one of my clients the other day and was reminded again about this very same topic. Here is a successful woman who was married for 30yrs before getting a divorce! We were having a conversation about the market and how proper budget planning is crucial to our futures and she began to tell me to always be prepared. She and her husband had gotten divorced after 30 years of marriage, in the midst of the divorce, she had always thought her name was on all the insurance policies, come to find out, it never was, it was in another woman's name! OUCH! She also began to tell me to mind my own money. She said, "I don't know how your relationship is with your husband, but just be careful!" Meanwhile, my mind quickly diverted to a previous conversation with another woman who had come into my office, on the verge of an emotional breakdown! She confided in me and shared the details of her relationship saying that it was very trying and that her husband was not a docile man and he didn't know she was in my office looking for a home, because if he had known, she'd be in BIG trouble! I was nervous for her!! As we were going over the costs and her financing options, I asked her, how did she intend to pay for the home. She shared with me that her girlfriends had warned her long ago "You always have to have some F U money!"

WHAT???? F U money? Wow... why is it that we have the mentality to prepare for the "what if?"

Don't get this confused with the family's emergency fund, like if the boiler breaks down, or you need a new car or if you encountered rough times, or unexpected bills....

No the "what ifs" that I'm speaking of are, what if they aren't the one? What if, this doesn't work out? What if I don't like everything about this person? What if they don't like everything about me?

What happened to working things out? What happened to fighting for your relationship and everything that brought the two of you together? What happened to the covenant that you made before God? Does none of this mean anything anymore?

Another encounter I had was with a gentleman. He had come into my office alone and after talking a bit we were walking out to the model homes. He said something that made me question him further. He said that he was looking for a home that would initially be used as an investment property and then eventually a primary residence for himself. So I asked, "I'm curious, is there any reason in particular that you would like to purchase something initially as investment and then move in to the home later?" and he answered me saying "Well, if I end up moving here I'll be alone. My wife and I are having problems and I'm considering a plan b, you've always gotta have a plan b!" Wow! Here we go again, another person planning for the worst instead of praying for the best!!!

Am I naive in saying and believing that when I get married, it will not be to get divorced???

I believe in the institution of marriage and everything that it stands for. If we go back to the bible in the beginning when God made Adam, he saw that he needed a help mate. He brought all the creatures that he had created and brought them to Adam and saw that they weren't what he needed and so he put Adam back to sleep and out of his rib he created woman. He created Eve who was to be the perfect mate for Adam. When a man and a woman get married they become one unit, no longer looked at as single. They are now one flesh. A marriage that is ordained by God is blessed. In God's eye's there's not very many reasons to divorce. Ultimately this is because if the courting was done right, prior to the union of marriage,there ought not be many reasons to divorce. I say this because in the bible, we are taught to be evenly yoked. This means, there should be commonality amongst the two people. You should share the same spiritual beliefs, similar upbringings, and so on. It makes for a better more solid relationship if you see eye to eye on most things. A true man or woman of God aren't as likely to hit, or cheat or be mean spirited, because it contradicts with their beliefs. A man of God is told to love his wife how Jesus loves the church. What is Jesus to us? He is our provider, our protector, our friend our confidante. These are all things that our husbands are to be to us. A husband is told to love his wife as he loves his own body. One never did not love their body. One feeds it and cares for it just how Jesus cares for the church. Wives are told to submit to our husbands as we submit to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. (Eph 5: 22-33) I wonder if we structured our marriages and our households to the way in which it were planned would the divorce rate be as high??? If we followed the handbook of life would we then know that when there is trouble it doesn't last. That when there is trouble it isn't a time to run for cover and hide, but to seek God and his holy counsel and ask Him to heal the wounds of the marriage and watch Him to do it!! If we structured our marriages according to the way in which we ought, would we not see marriages sustain??? A marriage is a covenant a contractual obligation that you enter in before God to love, respect, honor and obey in sickness and in health, through good times and in bad, for better or for worse. It is something that should not be taken lightly and as soon a trouble comes we're heading for the border. By all means if it's an abusive relationship that is unhealthy to you mentally and physically to be in, leave. But in most situations of marriage it can be worked out, prayed on and made through.

So when he finally pops the question and asks to marry me, what will I say???? YES, I WILL... and I'll believe it with my whole heart that though it may be hard work and some days might be better than the others, as long as we keep God first, stay prayerful and keep our vows to eachother... we will work it out and I will not get married just to get divorced... nor will I worry about the "What ifs"!!!

Thank you for joining me for another episode of The "J" Spot. This is Daddy's Girl signing out....

Peace & Blessings

Smooches~~~

SINGLE, SAVED AND SEX

I thought a lot today about what I wanted to talk about and the topic that kept jumping out at me was Single, Saved and Sex. I think this topic kept popping into my head because this is one that is dear to my heart. There are a lot of young saved, single men and women out there that continue to battle with the struggle of having premarital sex. Some of them truly don't know that they are wrong to have sex outside of marriage and the ones who may have had abstinence taught to them didn't understand why they were being told to wait and thought that it was simply another thing that our parents didn't want us to do!

As a parent it's also quite discouraging to tell a child to wait on having sex when it's all around them. Today's society is choc' full o' sex!!! As they say "sex sells" and because of this, nearly everything thing sold on the market place has some kind of sexual overtone or undertone. When it's being marketed to women it's a softer sex, more romantic and sensual and when being marketed to a man, it's more overt and blatant. Either way we're being sold sex in a bottle in some way shape or form. Sex is in every genre of entertainment i. e. music, movie, etc. How do we not have sex when it seems like everyone around you is doing it? It seems so enjoyable so why not? I guess a question I could ask, is it possible to be single, saved and not have sex until marriage?

The answer is yes indeed!

I personally had an issue with being saved, a single woman and sex. I was raised to not have sex until marriage but I don't recall ever really being explained why not except for "because I said so!" or "you just don't!" As a young adult it left me curious as to why is something that is obviously natural not ok for me to do? I kind of thought that I was being left out of the loop, like it was one huge conspiracy plan against me! I think that we need to not be so inhibited with our children to not give them further explanation of why we say not to do something. I think children are pretty reasonable and if they have a question about why they shouldn't do something, they are just trying to rationalize and they want to make an informed decision and we shouldn't avoid talking to them because we are embarrassed by the topic. We need to not be afraid to speak of the true meaning and purpose for sex and why it was created for a husband and a wife to share not just to be done casually as sex has now become.

Women this is for you: To have intercourse with someone it's an exchange of emotion, fluids and "spiritual essence." I say this because if we look at the very act of sex, men have an external organ and women an internal organ. The man is the giver while the woman receives the man into her body. When a man and woman have sex there is an exchange and he leaves a bit of himself with her. Also, being that the act of sex was reserved only for husband and wife, when you have sex, legally married or not, God sees you as married! To casually have sex with multiple partners is now adultery. Not only is there the adultery that you have to contend with but it's the multiple partners that are left deposited in to your spirit that you have to deal with. Women, you pray for the right man, you pray and ask God to send you your husband, but how can he when you have no room left in your spirit to receive him? You've given yourself casually to men and committed yourself to them by engaging in an act that was sanctified only for marriage, you have tied God's hands. You have to purge yourself of the relations that you've had with men, clean yourself out and cling back to your one true love so that He can prepare you and make room for your husband.

When I asked myself now that I'm saved and I'm still single how am I going to find my husband and not have sex? God led me to read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. What that passage talks about is what I just got finished explaining. The act of sex unites a man and woman making them "one flesh" to indulge in sexual immorality is committing sin against your own body. Your body wasn't made for your own indulgence your body was made for Him. Your body is the temple of God. You were bought at a high price, your body isn't your own. Therefore honor God with your body. When I dissect this and meditate on it even further, when you think about it, we were purchased by the blood of Jesus. It cost Him his life and it was the spilling of His blood that has covered me and allowed me to be set free from bondage. He's now with me always, living on the inside of me. How can I dishonor him? How can I pollute His dwellings after He laid His life down for me? If all I have to do is keep my temple pure to please Him then that's what I'll do. Just the insight and the understanding of why I shouldn't have sex until marriage was enough for me to say ok, I will not continue to give myself up freely to someone undeserving. I will purge myself and make room for my husband and give myself only to him.

So ladies, before you allow yourselves to lay down with another man, first think to yourself if you can see yourself being married to him, because you will be. Also, let the thought of if you like everything about him because as we found out, during the act of sex a man deposits his essence in the woman's body leaving himself behind. If you only like what he looks like and he has nothing of substance on the inside then think again because you will be carrying him around with you whether you like it or not! What is most important, is realize who lives on the inside of you. Acknowledge Him in all your ways. Acknowledge His presence and respect that He is there and that you are to honor your body and keep His temple Holy.

How to date and remain abstinent?
Date someone who shares the same beliefs as you do.
Talk about it and set boundaries early on in the relationship.
Date in groups.
Pray
Study the Word
Don't put yourself in an uncompromising situation.

Remember, with every temptation the Lord will make a way of escape.

I hope that you have enjoyed another episode of The "J" Spot with yours truly- Daddy's Girl

Peace & Blessings