SANTA, JUST PUT A MAN UNDER MY TREE!!

This one is for all of my singles out there. What do you want for Christmas? That's the question a lot of people are being asked at this time of year and most responses are generic in that they are almost all the same, with requests of the cutest outfit or the hottest accessory of the season or maybe even a bottle of your favorite perfume. But when you go home at night all you'd really like to ask for is a beautiful man to slide up under your tree!

What is it about this time of year that has the lonely missing what they don't have? What is it about the holiday season that has you craving that significant other that you thought you were fine without? Could it be that as the years go by you are one of the only one's left at the dinner table without a date? Or is the latest news of your younger cousin who just got engaged to what seems like the perfect guy that you have yet to find? Or maybe it's the news that you're going to be a new auntie or a god mommy within the next year? Sometimes around the holidays you look around and you see where everyone else is in their lives and you notice more than ever where you are in yours.

Instead of it being a happy time of year, you find yourself cuddling your pillow tighter hoping that if you squeeze it hard enough it'll turn into a man. Unfortunately every morning you wake, it's still a pillow and it'll always be. Sometimes, you find yourself at home reminiscing on past relationships, that may not have been all of that, but in your lonely state you start to say 'well they weren't that bad' and even decide to call and allow them to pay you a visit or two. After those episodes of delirium you feel even worse than you had before you called and remember quite vividly why things didn't work out in the first place! Those acts of desperation are the last things that we want to do.

I don't know why we get so hard on ourselves around this time of year, that we want for what we don't have. I think the true meaning of the holidays are to be focused on our haves instead of our havenots. So though you may desire that perfect man that you can call all your own, and that beautiful diamond ring to show off or maybe even to share that you are about to take on one of life's most blessed events ever, focus on the things that you do have like great friends, a loving family and a whole lot to offer that special one when he finally does find you.

So this year, I challenge you that as you gather around the dinner table with your family and friends to have Christmas dinner to instead of looking around at your kin and noticing what they have that you don't, be thankful for all that you do have. Be thankful that you are alive and have your health, be thankful for your family and your friends and as you continue to be true to yourself, you never know who they may have invited to stop by for dinner!

Lighten up, tis' the season!

THUG PASSION

Why has there always been an attraction between a good girl and a bad boy? What is it in a woman that draws her to him? Some think that it may just be the all too simple tale that opposites attract, which I think has some truth to it. Some also think that it's a fetish, it gives the good girl the opportunity to experience life on the "wild side" like she never would have known otherwise, I think that may also have some truth to it. One of my personal favorite theories are that woman are born with an innate maternal/ nurturing instinct. We always want to fix something or someone, this is the position that I really tend to side with. So what's the correct answer here? I say a strong case of ALL OF THE ABOVE!

Personally I think there are tons of reasons why some woman are attracted to the "bad boy" or the "thug life." The whole bad boy imagery is all over the television, especially in music videos. That lifestyle is portrayed as "the life" that everyone should want to live. To some women who have a normal, (what they would consider) boring, everyday life this may be attractive. It gives them the opportunity to live vicariously through someone else or it gives them that status of being "so and so's girl." Every girl who's dated a bad boy was "so and so's" girl for a time and everyone around the way knew that you were hands off. That faux feeling of status that you get from being some dude's girl that is high up on the food chain can feel empowering.



I think we have a tendency to see more good in a person than they are able to see in themselves. We see and fall for the "possibilities" while ignoring the "realities!!" We say to ourselves, "if I could just get him to stop doing this he would be the perfect guy" or "if he would stop hanging with this group of friends he'd stop getting in trouble and then he'd be the perfect guy." I'm not hating on any women out there who prefer the bad boy, for me it was a phase that I had gone through, and I think that's the case for a lot of women.



As for this goodie two shoes, I am not attracted to the streetlife or whatever glory it may bring. The tough guy persona is not what I am attracted to. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a pushover, I don't think any girl really wants that. I am attracted to testosterone and I would prefer my man to have a say so and have the ability to tell me "no" from time to time, but not too often! I don't want for him to be a punk and not able to stand up for himself or for me for that matter. However, what I am attracted to instead of the roughneck, tough guy is a strong sense of self confidence and not arrogance. He definitely has to be on the same page spiritually with me, he has to be intelligent and articulate. I am attracted to the kind of man that feels comfortable in a room full of stiff suits or on the street in from of a corner store. I am attracted to a sense of humor and a great personality.

So I have passed this cup of Thug Passion on to the next chick that craves a little adventure in her life and I am perfectly happy and satisfied with my God Fearing, respectable, educated, confident, articulate, loving and caring man! I sometimes look back in retrospect and wonder.... what was I thinking????

REFLECTIONS

The last five days have gone by so fast it's hard to comprehend that it's just about time to get back to reality, which for me means getting back to waking up early, getting my son off to school and me getting ready for work trying to negotiate some deals and make some things happen for myself. Why do vacations go by so fast? I don't know if I'd consider my time off a vacation, being that I didn't go anywhere, but I got a chance to relax and just spend time with my family. Waking up late was good enough for me to be honest, but now that it's Sunday, I could use another 5 days before going back to my life.

Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. I spent time with my immediate family we did our usual, my dad cooked the turkey, mac and cheese and the collard greens, while my mom and I prepared the sides, the stuffing, potato salad, candied yams, pies and I personally did a fabulous lasagna. Dinner was excellent everything came out tasting just right for the occasion. After dinner it was our usual louging around the house. A friend stopped by and we all hung out then later on that night my son and I went to the movies to see Twilight, which turned out to be a good movie, a nice love story on a PG-13 level.

Black Friday, I did not wake up to take part in the mayhem that occurs at obscene hours in the day. I couldn't see myself doing it, up at 3-4am to stand in a long line in the cold to bust through the doors of some super savers club. I woke up late and hit the mall for something nice, not for Christmas shopping but to find a gift for myself as my birthday was the next day. I got myself a few great gifts, and then went back home for some Thanksgiving leftovers.

Saturday I woke up to a wonderful surprise of birthday calls and gifts. I got a beautiful new bag, watch and ring from my parents and my son bought me a necklace. I also bought myself a watch and some other jewelry to celebrate my birthday. I didn't go out on my birthday, but I didn't feel too bad about it. There were plans but they fell through.

Now it's Sunday and tomorrow is obviously Monday, back to work back to the grind. Tonight I am celebrating my birthday out doing something that I like to do which is dinner in a great restaurant and great ambiance. So it's about time to get dressed so I can head out.

But before I go I figured I mention what I'm grateful for. This Thanksgiving holiday, I am thankful for my family and friends and all of my loved ones. I am thankful the house that I live in and the clothes on my back and the fact that I can still sustain a designer wardrobe (sorry it is) I am thankful that in this market I am still working as an active real estate agent bringing in the money to pay my bills, sales aren't what they were a year ago but people are still buying (at least from me) :-). I am thankful for a black president and I am thankful for love and life. I am thankful for a new day.

Peace and blessings,

Daddy's Girl

BROTHA

I still feel full of the energy from the election. I can't wipe the smile off of my face. I'm so proud of my people, my brothers in particular and I wanted to send a song in salute to you.

Enjoy

Daddy's Girl