Why has there always been an attraction between a good girl and a bad boy? What is it in a woman that draws her to him? Some think that it may just be the all too simple tale that opposites attract, which I think has some truth to it. Some also think that it's a fetish, it gives the good girl the opportunity to experience life on the "wild side" like she never would have known otherwise, I think that may also have some truth to it. One of my personal favorite theories are that woman are born with an innate maternal/ nurturing instinct. We always want to fix something or someone, this is the position that I really tend to side with. So what's the correct answer here? I say a strong case of ALL OF THE ABOVE!
Personally I think there are tons of reasons why some woman are attracted to the "bad boy" or the "thug life." The whole bad boy imagery is all over the television, especially in music videos. That lifestyle is portrayed as "the life" that everyone should want to live. To some women who have a normal, (what they would consider) boring, everyday life this may be attractive. It gives them the opportunity to live vicariously through someone else or it gives them that status of being "so and so's girl." Every girl who's dated a bad boy was "so and so's" girl for a time and everyone around the way knew that you were hands off. That faux feeling of status that you get from being some dude's girl that is high up on the food chain can feel empowering.
I think we have a tendency to see more good in a person than they are able to see in themselves. We see and fall for the "possibilities" while ignoring the "realities!!" We say to ourselves, "if I could just get him to stop doing this he would be the perfect guy" or "if he would stop hanging with this group of friends he'd stop getting in trouble and then he'd be the perfect guy." I'm not hating on any women out there who prefer the bad boy, for me it was a phase that I had gone through, and I think that's the case for a lot of women.
As for this goodie two shoes, I am not attracted to the streetlife or whatever glory it may bring. The tough guy persona is not what I am attracted to. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a pushover, I don't think any girl really wants that. I am attracted to testosterone and I would prefer my man to have a say so and have the ability to tell me "no" from time to time, but not too often! I don't want for him to be a punk and not able to stand up for himself or for me for that matter. However, what I am attracted to instead of the roughneck, tough guy is a strong sense of self confidence and not arrogance. He definitely has to be on the same page spiritually with me, he has to be intelligent and articulate. I am attracted to the kind of man that feels comfortable in a room full of stiff suits or on the street in from of a corner store. I am attracted to a sense of humor and a great personality.
So I have passed this cup of Thug Passion on to the next chick that craves a little adventure in her life and I am perfectly happy and satisfied with my God Fearing, respectable, educated, confident, articulate, loving and caring man! I sometimes look back in retrospect and wonder.... what was I thinking????
2 comments:
I agree with you. I think there are a few reasons why women prefer a bad boy and sometimes the good guy is left to being looked at as a friend. Once we get past that phase in thinking that we can save ppl and change them we usually realize they are who they are and we can move to a more secure real relationship. Great blog.
I think some women love thugs because there's soem sort of void in their lives and to fill that they want someone who is essentially a protector, an enforcer. I don't think there are very many women who want either an outright street thug or a pushover. Only in the black communities do we really characterize and impose ideals in what we look for in a man in relation to the street life.
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